Nothing might be me

 I'm alone even with your arms wrapped around me

Am I not enough?

Are you enough?

I have this sour taste in my mouth

That feeling that makes my skin crawl

Right before the fall

Falling inside my head

Overthinking

Touch me, I need to feel

Kiss me, I'm losing you

Hug Me, I'm feeling neglected

It's not your fault

I'm wired differently

I push and pull you away

The waves wash over me

You hold me like an anchor in the low and high tide

I wish to erode away

I wish to be everything you see

but when I feel like you see nothing

Nothing might be me

If I'm nothing, I am empty

Emptiness soaks my skin

Always craving more

Can I be satisfied?

Nothing might be me. 

Spinning, Spiraling, Slipping

Spiraling down

I feel the familiar pull 

It's slow at first

Hints and quips 

I know it's coming

I try to distract myself

I grasp at anything, anyone

I can feel it slipping through my fingers

A slow burn soon a raging fire ready to swallow me up

My body aches

My head hurts

Muscle tight, tension

The ride will soon begin

High speed into traffic

I buckle up 

I wait for the crash

It always comes

Loud and Deadly

With highs come lows

 I can not complain

I am accepting this hand I am dealt

Even though I have this deep-rooted sadness in my chest

It's been years, but I am still fighting with these demons

I still have this hole in my heart

I forget it every once in a while

I live in denial

I deny the pain

I hear people say it's not that bad

I hear people say suck it up

I hear people say it's just a phase

A phase, it's been a lifetime

They don't understand

They don't listen

They don't see

how hard it is to speak

how hard it is to breath

how hard it is to stay put together 

With the highs come the lows

Dancing and then misery

I am my own worst enemy

Life goes on

When will this end