I've decided to stay

I've been pushing this pain down
I've been holding on

I thought I was ready to leave this place
But I've decided to stay

For how long is uncertain
But for now I'm here

I hold on to hope that things will get better
I hold on to hope that someone will need me
I hold on to hope that my existence makes a difference

I want to be strong
I want stop crying
I want to stop leaning on everyone
I want to pick myself up from the ashes
I want to rise like a phoenix

My scars remind me of my battles with myself
My smile reminds me that I've survived