Mother's Day

My first Mother's day without you
I feel numb
I want to feel like I care about you but I don't

You've torn a hole in my heart
It will forever be open

I want to lean on my mother like other people do
I want to call you up and tell you about people in my life
I want to tell you my troubles
I want your advice

But I can't
You aren't gone
I just can't have you in my life

You beaten me down and ripped me apart

I've only just recently been able to build my foundation back up
I get weak and I miss you
I cry and wonder if I'm doing the right thing

Then I remember your words and how much they sting
I remember the hitting and manipulation
I remember the pain
I remember why you are no longer in my life

 This day is rough
I close my eyes
Take a deep breath
And remember how strong I've become

My first Mother's day without you
I feel nothing...