Depression

Keep me close
I'm losing my head again

I fill that familiar pain
It starts as a headache
It moves down my spine
Lower back, pain

Attaches itself to every joint
Every bone

Like a venom
Like a parasite

It's tearing me apart
Every nerve stinging

No one sees
No one knows

Internally I am falling apart
No tears are forming now
I have nothing left

I am strong
I try to hang on

My past creeps in
Bringing me mistakes I regret
Bringing me words of failure

I feel like I am nothing
I feel like I have let everyone down
I feel useless
I feel like I am not good enough

I struggle to smile
I struggle to sleep
I struggle to live

I fight
Scars are on my heart
You can't see them but they sting me every day

Reminding me of where I've been
Reminding of things I've done
Reminding me of pain

You are busy...

We all have lives, I know
We all have things we need to do, I know

And most of the time I am busy, you know
And most times I have things to do, you know

But here I am lonely
No one really cares

You think the attention I need is to much
Mean while I'm scrounging to see you
I'm begging to be with you

You know.

I lose things, people so often
I can't help but hold on to the good things
knuckles white
Squeezing

I feel bad about it
I tell myself not to care so much
I tell myself that overwhelming need will go away

I can't help it
I've always been sensitive
I've always been a person to surround myself with others

When I'm alone my demons whisper
When I'm alone I feel forgotten
When I'm alone I feel lost

My thoughts become deafening
I need you to ignore this pain
I need you to escape my brain

In a world full of problems I am not important
At least not as important as I want to be