Human connection
You crave it
You feel alone
You feel the absence of touch
You lean into anything you can
Just to not feel it
You wish you could make me understand
But here you stand without a hand to hold
Without a place to call home
Empty handed
Empty hearted
You hurt me, your words gut me
Lying to my face
Something is broken
Can it be repaired?
You act like everything is fine
But I'm crumbling inside
Do you know how much you hurt me?
I try to be angry, but all the strength in me is gone
All I feel is disappointment and disbelief
I feel alone
My brain goes into overdrive
What else have you lied about?
Do you even care about me?
So many things are wrong here
Maybe I just need sleep...
Sometimes you think you are important
But the world turns, and people forget you
That is the way of things
Cold heartless truth
What am I even leaving behind?
Why would you even want to remember me?
Things are changing, and I'm still here waiting for you to notice me
Weeks, months, and years fly by, and I'm still here waiting to hear from you
And I know I should let these feelings go
But I've never felt important
I've never felt like I'm special
Maybe it's time to face the fact that you don't need me
And maybe no one ever will...
I'm still lonely
I've created a fantasy
A fantasy where you care for me
Where you hug me and tell me it's ok
A fantasy
It isn't real
The only thing that's real is this music in my ears
I try to let it surround me, drown me
The music that has saved me more times than anyone
The music that has pulled me from the edge
The music that lets me know I am not alone
Music my religion
I breathe it
I feel it
Music is my soul
I feel it creeping in
When the world is silent
The darkness of night seeps in
It surrounds me like a cold wind
The warmth is leaving me
My hands aching
My heart breaking
Tears falling as I embrace the impact
Frozen and sharp
Like glass, it cuts me
Cuts you can't see
But I feel them
Invisible scars
Scattered all over me
When the world is silent
It's been a while
I'm still here
Floating through this space
Reaching out, grabbing nothing
Nothing changes
No one really cares
No one reaches back
I feel alone
I feel cold
Isolating myself
But the world still turns
Regardless if I am here or not
Have you ever felt pretty?
Could you describe the feeling to me?
I've never been the pretty girl
I've never been the anything-girl
I close my eyes and almost feel like I could disappear
As if I was never here
There is a hole deep inside me that never goes away
Slowly I feel it swallowing me
I look in the mirror and I see nothing worth saving
Wondering if I should have died
If I am here by mistake
Life goes on and people change
One by one leaving me
So terribly lonely
I'll never get used to this stinging feeling
That pain when you hold your heart in your hands as it breaks
I keep this smile on, but it hurts
It's hides the ugly truth, the damage beneath
I've never been the pretty girl
