Love is not manipulation

Instilled with insecurities at a young age
Knowing life is not perfect
Knowing you will never be perfect

Looking in the mirror always wanting to be a good child
Always wanting to make you proud
Knowing that moment is gone
Knowing that it was never worth it

Holding my heart in my hands watching it break and burn
Ashes now, swirling into the nothingness

I do not think you will ever know
The pain you have caused
The sleepless nights
The bleeding

You believe you are innocent
You blame me
You claim you love me

True love does not crack and flake away
True love is not manipulation
True love asks for only love in return

I have lost myself
I have lost my mind
I have lost my sense of home

You have taken so much from me
I try to bury this hole in my heart but I know it will always be there

I am forging a new life
I am rising from the ashes
Knowing life is more of a life without you

Sometimes this new life gets hard and I cry and I cry
But in the end I know I am no longer suffering from this poison
The sludge you pushed through my veins is slowly leaving me

I can breathe, although there are pains in my chest

I can still breathe...