I'm A Ticking Time Bomb

It all fades away
The love
The memories
The hopes
The dreams...

One day you stop mattering
You are invisible
You loose time
You loose space...

You go crazy in your head
You misread the signs
You play dead...

Your words are nothing
Your feelings betray you
Life spiraling forward...

Left alone for hours
Losing sanity
Losing strength...

Missing you, missing me
Missing you, kissing me
Missing you, needing me...

Giving up, giving in
Abandoning life, reclaiming stress
Living life, wanting death

Day turns to night
Light to dark
Happy to sad...

Breathe...

Hold on...

But aren't words empty...

Let's pretend this never happened

Have you ever kissed a flame?

Have you ever tasted a sin?

Have you ever held your breath, holding back your screams?











Felt the steel kiss your skin
Felt the sweet pain


Give in to the chaos
Relinquish control
Captivated by the danger


Lips red
Fingers scraping the skin
Feeling alive

Secret Desires

His eyes piercing

The temperature rising

Fire burns my skin
I seize the sin

I embrace it
I taste it

The blood dripping from my mouth
It takes me to another place

I can't control myself

Let's destroy something beautiful
Tear the skin and break the veins

It's an itch you can't scratch
A switch you can't turn on

Let's indulge in the pain
Let's get fucked up on the high

You only live once
Let's bleed ourselves dry

Take the torture with the pleasure...

There is nothing left
Nothing good
All that was worth it has died

An empty shell resides
You gave your best years to the worthless

You close your eyes
You know the right thing to do

You should walk away
Tell yourself you will be ok

You have been alone
You know that sting all to well

You take it day by day
You know the pending doom is upon you

Let's live in the now
Let's start again
Push through

Take your medicine

If it was meant to be, it will be they say

Take the torture with the pleasure...

Where did YOU go?

The words so blunt, so true
Your problems laid out on the table

You see your self, inside you feel inadequate, worthless, broken, and damaged
How can you feel good again
How can you get this pain to go away

You change your hair, you paint your face
In the end you are still a mess

You think about not being here so very often
The good things are not there anymore
The things you attach yourself to are moving on

Where did your passion go
You are content on doing nothing

No more motivation
No more use

You live your days numb and abused
 Let's go back to the start, when things were not so fucked up...

Worthless

I am not the safe choice
I am not the best choice
I don't deserve you

I could never be happy
I am cursed
I am a knotted mess

I wear a mask
I pretend to be everything you need
Slowly I am losing myself

I am damaged
I am worthless
I am nothing

Everytime I close my eyes
I see emptiness and chaos

I give myself away until there is nothing left
In my hands the dust settles and I am left with empty promises

Toxic Stress

Tangled
Barely breathing
Eyes shut tight

The world spins
The tears spill
The coldness sets in

I think I'm sick
I can't think
My thoughts become unattainable

So much pain
Nothing to gain

Using me
Using you

Nothing changes

Tasting regret
Taping the wound shut

Solving nothing

Day to day struggles
Because of you

Toss me like a stone
Break me like glass
Destruction rushing though me

Your punching bag
Your slave

Waste of air
Waste of space

Your not good enough

But... I love you...